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Post by tharidler on Jun 1, 2013 10:51:59 GMT 1
hi everyone
I have posted before elsewhere about this but I thought I would reach out again some of you will know a bit about me so i'm sorry if I am repeating myself since an early age my father decided that I needed to know his opinion that there was the life we had and nothing beyond now I think looking back this was my fathers misguided effort to toughen me up for the big bad world (he really screwed that one ) now over the years I have attempted to find comfort in religion I have read the bible old and new several times I have read some of the quran and bounced about the internet but it eludes me and I don't understand why my wife is catholic and it amazes me how strong her faith is even through the bad times when I guess it helps her the most (this is a little side rant a member of our family is welcomed into the church soon and this frankly pisses me off as they are not a nice person so why do they get the comfort of faith and I don't ?) now I have prayed to be a better person I have prayed for faith I have asked again and again and still nothing I have tried to understand that the whole point of religion being faith but I have none I try and try but still I have neither faith nor comfort now I am sure there are other faiths that I have not explored that may appeal on some level but I just think what's the point I said to my therapist all about this one day and she asked the question what's the worst that can happen if you die and there's nothing you will not know or feel anything and while I understand this to be true on a logical level it still scare's the crap out of me to the point I can feel the anxiety rising just by typing it and I said well why does someone else get faith and she said well you are an intelligent person who questions things so you don't just believe without evidence (I am still to this day not sure how that was supposed to help)i'm not writing here in the hope that someone will say try this faith and then overnight I will convert and be happy but I would like to understand more how others deal with these questions and what helps you I have absolutely no bias and would be respectful of any idea of faith and personal belief but this is what keeps me awake at night so I would like to discuss things even if it just gives me a better understanding of how it helps other people or not
I hope you are all well today
many thanks
john
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Post by petop86 on Jun 1, 2013 14:40:42 GMT 1
Hi John this is a very interesting post, and I have questioned my faith on numerous occasions during my time in the army I always questioned how other soldiers could have so much faith in times of such hardship, and I couldn't believe in an afterlife under no circumstances.
However since coming out of the army I do believe that faith comes from within. I am of no religion and find it hard to believe in a God however I do believe that if I am a nice person honest and true and that as long as I stay brave and help the vunerable and never stray from that path. And believe me on many occasions when I have felt at my most weakest I always try to stay true to myself and you always get people who are dishonest liars and cheats who go to church but that doesn't make them a nice person. If there is life after death I know I can live with myself knowing that I've always been honest and true to myself and that I know I'm a nice person to others.
I hope this answers some of your questions just stay true to yourself and help the vulnerable and nobody can ask any more from us.
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Post by Zaf on Jun 1, 2013 14:59:23 GMT 1
Im possibly not the best person to answer as my views on faith are almost certainly very different from most other people's but I will try to explain how I came to my faith and a little about it.
I was athiest for many years in fact almost anti-faith, at some time I was atracted to paganism - the type that reveres nature and marks the seasons rather than one of the more organised types of paganism like wicca or heathenism - my beliefs were close to animism (that everything has an energy), while still revering nature I drifted towards buddhism but although most of its beliefs and practices seemed right for me there was the sticking point of priests and worship, something I dont believe is right. I explored several similar faiths including Taoism and shintoism but there was still the problem (to me) of priests and/or worship then I stumbled on my present faith quite by accident; its an eastern faith similar to buddhism/shiekism/taoism but with no priests, no worship, no prayers to an omnipotent being (another thing I never believed in), no attachment to worldly goods or for that matter the world and the belief that death is only the next stage of life (the buddhists look upon upon death as taking off an old overcoat and putting on a new one).
I can only suggest do lots of reading and explore different faiths, not just the abrahamic ones, and perhaps you will come upon one that you feel is right for you.
Do you know what actually scares you about death john?
Z xxx
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Post by tharidler on Jun 1, 2013 22:33:05 GMT 1
thank you for your replies
firstly petop86 after reading your reply I must say that you have a very noble point of view and a set of rules that we should all aspire to live by as we can all be better people and zaf thank you very much for explaining your views and I think it opens up a lot more for me to look at I think that I have been mainly looking at Abrahamic religions as this is all I have really known but maybe by looking else where I may find some answers or at least learn something we have discussed my fear of death many times in therapy and it really still eludes me as to what the main fear is but the only one that resonates is the fear of non existence i really don't know how to really voice my fear beyond that as i find it becomes very twisted and confused sadly for me i have never been able to deal with the fact that we must all die one day again just typing this is making me feel anxious i really appreciate your replies
many thanks
john
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Post by Zaf on Jun 1, 2013 23:50:53 GMT 1
I think Terry is very right in what he says, its not necessary to have a faith to be a good person and also that faith comes from within.
Some faiths believe in an afterlife and many that we are reincarnated, both concepts that are really difficult to accept but having read a lot on near death experiences (some scientific research and some from doctors and nurses) there does seem a possibility this is true.
In addition to delving into some of the non abrahamic faiths you might find some of Eckheart Tolle's or Deepak Chopra's books worth a look.
I hope you find what you are looking for John; dont give up searching, it seems that very often we find what we're looking for when we least expect it
Z xx
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Post by tharidler on Jun 2, 2013 8:49:49 GMT 1
thanks for your advice zaf it is most welcome I will certainly have a look at the books you have suggested I have tried to give my fears some thought and it is a struggle to come up with a coherent answer I understand the origins of the fear and I also understand how it got so powerful and it is sadly very selfish as it is not a fear of not seeing loved ones or places I love or possessions it's non existence on a basic level of not having thoughts my therapist also feels that having no control is also an issue anyway once again thank you for your kind advice
I hope you are having a good day
john
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Post by Zaf on Jun 2, 2013 10:18:33 GMT 1
Thanks john, I'm not doing too bad today, a bit of sunshine makes the world f difference  I'm not sure if it would help or even if they would interest you but some of the books by buddhist monks are worth a read too, you can skirt round the religious bits if they dont interest you but their peaceful philosophy is, at least to me, very attractive. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying might be worth a read even if you find the concept of reincarnation totally unbelievable, it helped me find a lot of peace when I was very troubled several years go. No fear is selfish john, its a very difficult emoyion to overcome, I hope your search goes well, the only advice I can suggest is to do a lot of reading with as much of an open mind as is possible and eventually you may find something to help. Z xxx |
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Post by cat on Jun 10, 2013 17:41:36 GMT 1
Sorry I just noticed this thread
I come from a slightly different background but have come to believe in the things Zaf and Terry have already said.
I worked for the Church for years and have been a “Christian” for as far back as I remember. In my experience, Churches are full of the most unkind and judgemental individuals that I have ever met in my life. The Church and scriptures cannot be trusted
When I first left the church, both as an employee and a member, I was lost. I had no faith in anything. I made a promise to myself that I would not look for answers in books or what other people had to say. My only faith was in the belief that we are all spiritual beings. Through my journey, I have been developing my own faith from what I feel within. I have no idea what happens when we die. I can’t possibly imagine any God or even a power greater than ourselves. All I know is that every living thing is energy and I have faith that this lives forever.
Now, my spirituality is an adventure. I don’t necessary search for answers, but I do enjoy reading and discussing whatever might relate to my idea of “spirit”; whatever gives me comfort in my struggles in this life.
A famous quote of Jesus (who I believe was a great teacher) is “The Kingdom of God is within”. I take that as meaning the Kingdom of God/the afterlife, is what we make it.
Blessings!
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Post by tharidler on Jun 11, 2013 14:58:52 GMT 1
thank you cat for your reply
currently I am going to try and read some of the books that zaf has suggested and see if that can help me I think for so long I have tried to get faith like it's something you can just pick up at the supermarket that maybe I have had blinkers on and I need to expand my thinking and try a little less and see what comes along.
I hope you are well today
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Post by Zaf on Jun 12, 2013 12:12:49 GMT 1
That sounds the right approach tharidler, I would recommend lots of reading, if you dont get on with the type of books I recommended try others as not all of us can take the same path towards faith
Z xxx
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Post by cat on Jun 12, 2013 15:48:54 GMT 1
That's sounds a good way forward tharidler
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poor you, what's up with your arm. You are really going through a tough time. ((((( hugs ))))) x