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Post by cat on May 4, 2013 12:36:55 GMT 1
That's good they will call you in, plus if the job falls through, your claim always starts from when you make contact.
I understand what you mean about your situation. I remember reaching a point of huge regret during my two months dossing in my car around Brighton. When we feel that we have been messing up our lives, the remorse can eat away like a disease. It never helps to allow those thoughts to roam freely. Feed the monster and it will grow, sort of scenario. It’s easier said than done not to dwell on the past, but I always find the blessings come from trying rather than complete success
In view of everything in the last few months, Alex, I really think you are doing remarkably well. As for the finances, I’m not sure if I could do any better. It would be so easy to go on a bender to rid yourself of life, as it now stands. The fact that you haven’t, says a lot about your strength and determination to make some major changes. Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen overnight, but I’m sure you are doing your best and that’s all any of us can do
I hope this weekend is kind to you, you deserve a break through.
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2013 12:49:39 GMT 1
Regret about everything right now Cat, things that happened years ago, who I am as a person. yes I have drunk abit but when rough sleepers unit were concerned about me going and mixing with street drinkers and going on a downward spiral, I just knew there was no way that was going to happen. I dont want to be drunk everyday.
I mixed briefly with street drinkers when in a homeless hostel in Brum and it just brought me down. They even knicked my drink one day and it was the day after my birthday and money a friend had given me, a tenner. I ended up buying that disgusting white cider as THEY wanted it. I should have gone off by myself and bought a bottle of wine that day. Then they had the nerve to walk off with my drink when I went for a pee in the park behind a tree. Thats just what I dont want to get involved with, its boring, its banal, they bring me down. I am sort of proud of myself for NOT drinking as much as I feel like or could have. When I went to Amsterdam in 2005 I had a lot more money and because it was cold then and I was lonely, thats all I did most days. And when the hangover got too much I started drinking again. A whole week it went on.
So yeah I am abit proud of myself for not blasting all my money on booze. I have spent 21 quid in total in a week, that wouldnt even buy me a night out in a pub at the cost of ale now!
In regards yourself, you did well from what you did at the time. You didnt stay here no but you made a good choice and there you are in a decent place now. You should be proud of what you achieved given the circumstances at the time, you did good in my estimation.
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Post by cat on May 4, 2013 13:18:19 GMT 1
Yes, Alex, I also regret things from years ago and, every now and then, whenever I am in a bad place, I do wallow in my remorse. I think, when we are feeling vulnerable and scared, these things from the past tend to haunt us. It was 18 years ago when I put myself into a similar position. There were many rocky times trying to pull myself together and a few additional mistakes. But, like you, there was little choice but to move away and try and start again. Of course, there were times when things fell through and hurdles appeared from nowhere.
Personally, I like the street drinkers. I'm not a drinker and I won't socialise, but I do regularly stop for a chat. The thing is, the nature of their addiction results in little loyalty and excess dishonesty. It wouldn't help you one bit and would take you away from the direction you hope to travel
You should be proud of drinking so little. You have been doing really well.
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2013 13:21:58 GMT 1
no nothing wrong with them Cat, I just dont want to become embroiled in that mentality, rather drink alone anyways. Also I know from experience that once they share with you, you share back but then it becomes a pattern that as soon as you have money your expected to share again. Maybe I dont want to drink, maybe I would rather eat.
And stealing my drink that day that had been paid for with a tenner(the only present I got that year) from a friend was not on. They knew it was my birthday the day before and that my friend had sent me a tenner. I was trying to be generous and it backfired.
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2013 15:09:03 GMT 1
sorry folks I dont think I can do this right now. Good luck with this forum
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Post by Zaf on May 4, 2013 15:10:11 GMT 1
Whats up Alex?
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Post by maddymoo on May 4, 2013 16:05:32 GMT 1
Alex what's the matter? Xxx
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Post by cat on May 4, 2013 19:22:25 GMT 1
Thinking of you, Alex. Hope you're okay
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Post by cat on May 5, 2013 8:19:59 GMT 1
Hi Alex....how are you?
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leo
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Post by leo on May 5, 2013 16:15:02 GMT 1
Hope your ok
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kate
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Post by kate on May 5, 2013 19:47:48 GMT 1
Thinking of you Akex xx
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Post by Zaf on May 5, 2013 19:50:27 GMT 1
I'll pass on everyone's good wishes, every now and again Alex finds the forums a difficult place to be but I hope he'll feel able to come back soon
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poor you, what's up with your arm. You are really going through a tough time. ((((( hugs ))))) x